OK, let me start by saying that buying wholesale and using a Drop Shipping platform are two very different things. I know that Drop Shippers call themselves wholesalers, but they use that name as a marketing term knowing it generates an image among sellers of inexpensive prices, when some drop shippers couldn't be more removed from the word wholesale!
Sure, some suppliers are much better than others, but you would be better talking to other members involved in the industry as to who is better to deal with. jg42122 would be in a better position to give advice on that point that I am.
You've pointed out two key issues with drop shipping already, there are a few others, but no need to cover everything as you seem to have a pretty good idea that this type of format is not serving you well.
When you are talking about wholesale products, then you are talking about buying in volume, and your price per item will be governed by the quantity you are buying in.
Of course when you are marketing on sites such as ebay, wholesale price doesn't cut it on most occasions, as the marketplace is usually set at wholesale price or below on most items, certainly on the more popular items.
As you are in the states you could consider liquidated stock, just research what you are buying first before jumping in head first if you did decide to use that option.
What sort of products do you want to sell?